the (single) life

I'm almost three whole months into my one year of "no dating, no pursuing" and I just realized that I have yet to write anything about this journey. Let me start off by saying, goodness gracious. This is, hands down, one of the more difficult things I've done in my 22 years on planet earth. However, in the same breath I want to say how much I've learned and grown from this three month experience already. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing where I'm sitting in another nine months. God's got it all under control.

About a month and a half ago I was enjoying some Chinese take out with two friends when I received this message in my fortune cookie: "romance will come your way soon." Now, I don't put a lot of stock into what my fortune cookie says, but it did seem of some importance to me, for whatever reason. So I kept it and put it into my wallet with all of my other random things I pick up. As worthless as that little piece of paper is, it has been right thus far. A new romance has come into my life; my Bridgegroom has appeared in a new way and am excited to be able to devout an entire year to solely Him.

Anyways, I came across this article in Relevant Magazine that I wanted to pass along to whom ever might need to read it. There's some good thoughts about the single and dating life as well as a good prayer that I, myself needs to start praying..."instead of praying that God will bring you the right person, pray that He makes you the right person."

Just like I told a good friend last night, I knew that as soon as I made this decision to partake in this one year journey, every attractive girl would come running from all corners of the globe. I'm ok with that. What good is learning if you never get to put it into practice and be tested on what you learned? So here we go. Three months down. Nine to go.

With love,
---Thomas

for now...I see in part

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." - 1 Corinthians 13:11-12

A main reason for me ever starting this blog was that I hoped that it would keep me accountable on some level with keeping with the theme: "...to be authentic". So here goes. I feel as if I'm stuck somewhere between these words of scripture. Somewhere between "When I was a child..." and "now I know in part..."

I feel very blessed to be able to confidently say that I know what God's calling over my life is, because I know plenty of people who willingly admit that they just don't know. But I'm very frustrated at the same time. I admit that I'm frustrated and I'm admitting that, to an extent, I feel a little lost. God has walked me down a path that has lead right into ministry with In August. From there, I've gone through a heart and eye transplant of sorts. I feel and see in ways I've never experienced; thus bringing about "the gathering". So it's like boom, boom, boom; God has been faithful in opening doors for me. I know it's all by His will because I don't deserve any of this and definitely can't do any of this on my own. But yet I still wrestle with some confusion.

"God, You've shown me my calling. You've given me a passion for my calling. Why can't I just step into that right now? Why can't things just happen like they've been happening? You know, boom, boom, boom?!"

On the way home from a friends house this evening, where we had some intense conversations about all kinds of things regarding our faiths, ours walks, our callings, and everything else around us, I just kept going back to the piece of scripture that said, "...now I know in part."

So this is where I'm at, at this very moment. I feel my childish reasoning has begun to fall away and a sense of growth has replaced it. And because of that growth, I feel I know more than just "in part". I feel I know the whole part, just as a teenager feels they know it all because of a little growth. But because I can't step into whatever stage comes after this current growth right this very second and begin operating in that season, I feel stuck.

For now..."I know in part". I don't know the intimate details of my calling yet because I'm not suppose to know. I'm still shedding my childish ways and am not ready....yet. And I desperately want to be at peace with that.

I saw a sign in front of a place of gathering earlier in the week that read, "change is inevitable...growth is optional." So God, I know change is coming, a new season is dawning. Open my eyes and heart that I may walk in the direction of Your growth.

With love,
---Thomas

Kingdom of God

Being apart of the ministry that is "the gathering" has been such an incredible experience, and we're only 1 gathering in! The things that God has opened my eyes to and the relationships I've been able to form has been such a blessing. A week ago, during our last snow storm in the valley, I met with two incredible guys who are both sold out for the cause that Christ has called them to. All of Harrisonburg is slowly shutting down on account of the snow, and here we are waltzing into Mcalister's like nothings going on. We sat. We ate. We spoke. We shared. We felt. We loved. And my heart smiled. For the first time in a very long time, I felt a peace filled with such a happiness. I can't even describe it. As we did all these things, I was happy. I, was truly happy. I had encountered the Kingdom of God.

"Christ tells us through scripture that the "kingdom" is not something we must wait on death for. Rather we can begin living in a new and better way now; a way of life that Jesus referred to as the “Kingdom of God.” A life of love as an interactive community, connected through Christ Jesus."

These were some of the words that were spoken to me by one of these men I was talking about.

This new found reality of the Kingdom of God has warped so many of my views on so many different topics. Views, that I've realized, aren't even my views. They're other people's views. My parents, family, friends, teachers, etc. I've just picked them up, thrown them on my back, and carried them as my own through life.

But during that time of fellowship, of community, I was happy. Because I was experiencing, enjoying, and operating in the Kingdom of God. I was loving. I was seeking. I was building the Kingdom of Heaven.

I want to invite you, on as much of a personal note as I can be through this blog, to the next gathering. Come gather, come seek, come love, as we seek out and experience community in it's purest form and learn more about this "Kingdom of God."

With love,
---Thomas

First Gathering: Confession

It's 12am. I should be working on tomorrow morning's song list and powerpoint, unpacking random gear from this evening's gathering, or more importantly, sleeping. But having a full stomach filled with applebee's goodness and a re-filled soul from tonight's festivities, I just can't do anything but think. So it's blogging time. Perfect.

Tonight was the kickoff to The Gathering, the latest ministry that God's blessed me with being apart of. The Gathering has been in the works for years now, even though I wasn't aware of it. The title of my blog summarizes the heart of The Gathering so perfectly; ...to be authentic. Tonight was a very sweet tasting, genuine, authentic time of fellowship, prayer, and intimacy with the Holy Spirit. Exactly what the vision in my heart has been longing for and seeking.

The topic; confession. And before I go any further, let me confess to my micro-managing problem. This morning I woke up with a pretty intense headache. From there came the nausea. And from there...well, you can take it from here. My first thought while lying in my bed, face into the pillow, not even able to blink my eyes from the painful throbbing, "I'll have to cancel The Gathering. I have too much to setup, too much to finish getting together, too much, too much..." My next thought, "well Thomas, if you would quit micro-managing, you wouldn't be in this predicament, now would you?" Yes, I do argue with myself quite a bit. Don't judge me. From the depths of my pillow came my first confession of the day. When I was finally able to actually focus on my phone and somewhat think, I swallowed my pride and asked for help. Here's another confession; I've been blessed with amazing people, who are capable of amazing things. I recruited help to finish setting up the aesthetics part of the evening. As I'm worrying whether I'll be able to make it at all, I realize that I don't feel anything. No headache. No nausea. Nothing. The second I confessed my shortcomings and laid down my pride (not necessarily in that order), is the second I felt better. Do I believe in healing? Absolutely. Do I believe I was healed? Absolutely. Not only from my physical ailments, but from my spiritual and emotional ones as well. But all because of a simple confession?

Confession is a powerful act. It's also an act that we don't practice, as Christians, enough. Like we talked about tonight, the church (us) would be in such a different state of being if we truly trusted our brothers and sisters and confessed and confided in one another. Because confession isn't just for our benefit, our gain, or our pleasure. I believe there's a larger picture to see. There's a spirit of humbleness that fills the space when we confess. We are all of a sudden on a different playing field. Instead of the stages we stand on, pulpits we stand behind, or pedestals that we live on, we're all of a sudden on the same hard, dirty ground. We are all the same. We become one. And in this we are able to lift our praises as one voice, breathe in the environment as one body, and operate in one mind.

My prayer moving forth into this year of 2010 is that we (the gatherers) continue to practice the lost, ancient art of confession. Not just when we gather, but in every day life. And I pray that in doing so, we are humbled so that we "may be active in sharing [our] faith, so that [we] will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ." - Philemon 1:6.

With love,
---Thomas

snowed...In

Snowed in and disconnected from the world. At least, that's what it has felt like. From nine o'clock this morning until about thirty minutes ago, I've been trying to find things to do to keep myself occupied. I've watched several movies thanks to Netflix, I've shoveled about 800lbs worth of snow, I gave Elizabeth (my guitar) an early Christmas present; new strings, and continue to ask myself, "Ok, what now Thomas?"

So I decided to pick up the acoustic and work on some music, but that quickly lost my attention when a song started playing from Rhapsody. "We Crown You" by Fee. The chorus goes...

"King of Kings and God of grace (we crown You, we crown You)
Our Redeemer strong to save (we crown You, we crown You)
High and holy lifted up, there is none more worthy Lord
We crown You Lord of all"

While the melody is extremely catchy, the part that caught my attention was when the female vocals came in with a soul piercing, "we crown You, we crown You." I sat in awe and amazement at how it took a simple three word refrain to make me realize how complicated I've made things.

My prayer for the past six months has gone something like this; "God, I want to seek You and You alone. I long for a life of authenticity and a heart of purity. I know I will never be a man until I'm the man of God that You created me to be." So I began asking God to help me adjust my schedule, because I knew I needed time for myself and time for us in order for this life and heart to grow. The first few months were good and sweet. The past month, however, has been everything but. I've run upon so many struggles like finances with bills and debt, as well as struggles with my mind and heart. As fast as I ran upon them, I found myself running away from myself and the much prayed for "us time." Why? Because I have more faith in these struggles than I do in myself. I know myself, I really do. I know what I can handle and what I can't. And I knew that I couldn't handle alone time with these problems hanging over my head.

And now I'm back to these lyrics; "we crown You, we crown You". I constantly preach this idea to the congregation, to my band family, and to my friends. And that's where it stays, "we." We crown You, Lord. We find our strength in You. We give our lives to You. And I realized that I have more faith in my struggles than in myself because I've accepted that I can do all these things as long as there's a "we" involved.

So Lord...

"I crown You, I crown You"

---Thomas

THE GATHERING

The Vision...

...to gather as one body of believers, with one voice, in reverence to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We gather as a community, who earnestly seeks the face, the hand, and the will of our Living God.

The What...

...we are coming together, once a month, with the expectation that our place of gathering has been deemed sacred, as we express various forms of individual and corporate worship (prayer, meditation, song, dance, word, art/painting/drawing, etc). The only thing consistent, I pray, besides our God showing up in mighty ways, is the life sacrifice we offer every time we step into our sacred gathering place.

The When...

...from 7pm-9pm on:

Jan. 16
Feb. 27
Mar. 13
Apr. 10
May 22
June 12
July 24
Aug. 14
Sept. 25
Oct. 16
Nov. 20
Dec. 18

The Where...

...Mt. Olive Brethren Church
2977 Pineville Road
McGaheysville, VA 22840

More Info...

...please contact Thomas Carrier - tcarrier8806@gmail.com

Lets say thanks

(click image)

I wanted to pass this along to you all and encourage you to take a few minutes and write a letter to our troops to express your support. Whether you agree with why they're doing what they're doing, they're protecting your freedom nonetheless. So please take a minute to express your support and to encourage them during this holiday season. Thanks.

With love,
---Thomas