Let It Rain

A good friend of mine shared these words with our congregation yesterday morning during the song, "Let It Rain" - in rap form. It was truly inspiring to hear these words flow out so punctually and authentically, as if my heart had grown lips and lungs and decided that it was going to spit out the words it has been praying for so long. But obviously these weren't my words, because they actually made sense. So...I just wanted to share these prayerful lyrics with you. Be blessed.

---thomas


"I wanna be like a tree but this world keeps on stopping me
Saying I cant be free cause I've got this sin in my life on top of me
And now I'm down to a knee, got dirt on my jeans, as I pray to my king
Let my roots run deep, all I wanna do is stand, I'm on two knees
Looking up to the sky don't know why I cannot stand tall
All I wanna do is praise his name, proclaim his name until I fall
I'm done with the things of this world, you know what, you can have it all
I think I'm ready to stand, I'm up, now LORD hear my call
And as I stood I looked up to the sky and the clouds were dark
It began to rain as I stood up to my feet ready to start
My sins washed off of me, the dirt's gone, I'm feeling lifted up
I can do what I dreamed but this time it's real, yes, I'm feeling up
This world ain't stopping me, Christ died on the cross, my chains are gone
I don't need what you've got for me, this time I'm changed, I'm moving on
My roots run deep in the ground, I'm not bound to a ditch I shine
Reflecting his light from above, LORD have this life of mine"
-Anthony Monteleone

Moving On

Today's devotional: January 5th, 2011
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"And when it was day, he departed and went into a desolate place. And the people sought him and came to him, and would have kept him from leaving them, but he said to them, 'I must preach the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns as well; for I was sent for this purpose.'" - Luke 4:42-43 ESV

"AS JESUS PREACHED in Judea's synagogues, the people were captivated because he taught "as one with authority," (Mark 1:22) like no one they had ever heard. He would preach to thousands, heal the sick, and engage the destitute. In fact, at one point, his renown had so grown that the people sought to make him king by force (John 6:15).

What did Jesus do with this seeming success; did he set up headquarters and signs, pass out flyers, and increase seating capacity? Did he remain with those who begged him to stay and enjoy the fame and their adoration? Absolutely not, Jesus was blameless even in his success and focused on his God-ordained purpose. Success is not merely defined by popularity or crowds, but by obedience. Find where you've remained too long in your achievements when you should have pressed on in pursuing the Father's purpose for your life, and then run after it."

(This devotion is adapted from shortdailydevotions.com and relevant.com.)
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God opened my ears to a message months ago; "Just because you have been here, walking through the same motions that yes, once was productive, does not mean that they continue to be relevant, productive, and just."

Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us that "there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." In Deuteronomy, Moses is petitioning the Israelites to follow God's laws that have been laid before them. He speaks of how God will bring prosperity and riches to His holy people. "The Lord will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season..." (Deut. 28:12) In season.

It blows my mind sprockets that Christ was consistently, devoutly in tune with God's current season. He wasn't ministering in the past with old songs, worn out Christian-jargon, and those overhead projectors that I was never able to master. Christ was on the edge, the beginning of God's great plan. People found his teachings captivating and authoritative because he was breathing in the season of God.

My prayer is that we allow God to move us to the storehouse of his bounty where his season is reality and we fight, like Christ for our hearts to be focused on the God-ordained purpose for our lives.

With love,
---thomas

prayer: Abba Father

I wanted to share this reading with you. Take a few minutes to quiet yourself and your surroundings as Jonathan Helser sings this prayer over you. Open yourself and be blessed.

With love,
---thomas


"Herein lies the secret, I believe, of the inner life of Jesus. Christ's communion with Abba in the inner sanctuary of His soul transformed His vision of reality, enabling Him to perceive God's love and care behind the complexities of life. Practicing the presence helps us to discern the providence of God at work especially in those dark hours when the signature of Jesus is being traced in our flesh. (You may wish to try it right now. Lower the book, center down, and offer yourself to the indwelling God.)" - Brennan Manning

Relevance?

Why isn’t the church relevant?
Why does culture always seem to ooze relevance, but the church is inadequate in keeping up?

The church is in competition with culture; with the music, fashion, dialect, aesthetics, etc. The church competes while culture doesn’t compete with anything.

My question….why can’t church just be as culture just is?


---thomas

30 Days: Fear: Vulnerability: Luke Miller

Because the Great Luke Miller brought it to my attention that I have been a less than perfect public figure (enter sarcasm here), this post is dedicated to him.

November 1st, 2010...30 days left in my "year of purpose." Wow. I can't believe how fast this year has gone. Looking back to last December when I made this commitment and comparing where I was then to where I am now, a lot has changed; yet so much has stayed the same. For example, my desire to pursue hasn't changed, but my view on how to go about it has and what it is that God desires of my pursuit. No longer does the thought of "who shall I pursue next" consume my thoughts or dictate my actions. Praise God. My sense of fear hasn't changed; just what I'm fearful of. This might not make sense, and to be completely honest, it still doesn't make much sense to me, but I fear when this journey finally does comes to an end. Going into this year, I was scared of 1) making a commitment such as this and 2) not being able to fulfill it. Coming out of this year, I now have the fear of, what next? Let me try to explain a little more...(if you've already zoned out, no worries...yes I still love you and no you do not have to keep reading)...

Throughout this past year I've felt as if I've had something of a crutch to lean on when it came to the dating and pursuing deal. When someone would try to "introduce" me to a person of the opposite sex (with a hidden agenda, of course), I would have to say no because of my commitment. And I had a lot of well thought out, precisely scripted reasons, of course. But when this year comes to an end and I say "yes" or "no", it's just me. No vow to fall back on. Just me. Vulnerable.

And I think that's where the fear comes into play. My vulnerability. Just like a lot of people, maybe all of people (maybe none of people) I'm terrified of being hurt. I'm terrified of simply being in a place or moving to a place where that hurt can come at me more easily.

A very sweet friend shared with me some scripture that she was able to hold fast to in her time of "fasting boys"...

Psalms 73:25-26
"Whom have I in Heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides You. My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

My flesh and heart will fail. I think that's just something I need to accept. Temptations will come, storms will cloud my view, and places of vulnerability and insecurity will surround me. But at the end of the day when I stand outside of these situations and circumstances, where is it that I have placed my heart? In these temptations, storms, and places? Or in "the strength of my heart", my God?

So with 30 days remaining, here's my prayer:

"God...take my heart..."
because "I need more now than fairy tales. God who lives in a book, I need someone real. So would You come?" - John Mark McMillan
"...and take my heart..."

With love,
---thomas

devo: Eyes on the Horizon

August 4th, 2010

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Eyes on the Horizon

By Pat Matuszak

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"Jesus replied, 'No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.'"
Luke 9:62 TNIV

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IN DRIVER'S ED, if I focused on what I was trying to avoid, the car would inevitably veer toward it. Somehow my intention to avoid the thing I feared caused me to drift towards it. Our teacher would cue us to look ahead by saying “Eyes on the horizon.” He trained us to look out, farther than the problem area. Instead of concentrating on where we didn’t want to go, we zeroed in on where wanted to end up.

Sometimes what we are trying to avoid propels toward us like a magnet. Our intention not to do the wrong thing draws so much energy that we don’t have any left to invest in doing the right thing.

The parable of the farmer and the plow offers a similar truth. Jesus explained how the diligent farmer puts his hands on the plow and doesn’t look back. He marks a line ahead, keeping his eyes on it as he carves straight furrows through the fresh soil. If the farmer looks back or off to the side, he veers off course. Look ahead. Don’t look back. Focus on your destination, and lesser worries won’t sidetrack your efforts.

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This was my morning devotional for today. It was such an eye opener, an "ah-ha!" moment, if you will, that I felt it was worth mentioning and sharing.

If you've done some occasional reading in my blog over the past eight months, you've probably gotten a pretty good grasp on my "goal" for this year. If you haven't, go back and read. You'll pick up quickly, I promise.

So this devotional...it really opened my eyes and got the mind gears working. We (and when I say "we", I' mean "me") as Christians always start out our quests with such sweet intentions. Our beginnings are always good, or most of the time anyways. We set out with our backpacks on, packed full of great supplies, vitamin water in hand, with our eyes on the horizon (our goal/destination). But as we start walking, where do our eyes drift? I know mine never seem to stay on that horizon or even in the same general direction for that matter.

I've found myself asking God all of these questions lately. "Why did this happen? Why did they say that? Why did I do this? Is this part of your plan? Is this your fault?" Without even realizing it, I've taken my eyes off of my goal, my horizon, and have found them drifting from obstacle to obstacle. I have focused on what is directly in front of me so much that I haven't even realized that I am now heading west when my original direction was north. My ultimate goal was to grow in God and to have Him grow in me throughout this year of "no pursuing-no dating." But I've become so focused on NOT dating and NOT pursuing, that they have become my immediate goal, hindering me from remembering what I original set out to do.

"'God, may I decrease so that You may increase' because I need help keeping my eyes focused."

---thomas

learnings on: ANGER

Two nights ago, my mind wouldn't stop walking through the park of many thoughts. I tossed and turned for about two hours before finally giving up and deciding to blog about the thoughts that were keeping me up. The computer wasn't on so I grabbed my trusty Blackberry and began blogging. Forty minutes later, after I finished up, I clicked "save". Except at 2am "exit" looks a lot like "save" apparently. Needless to say, I lost everything. But I felt it was a good lesson that I'm learning so I want to throw this on here. So here we go.

Anger - a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong.

I've never really considered myself an angry person. However, there was a time in my life where I harvested feelings of anger more than any other. I reached a place where I finally decided that I didn't want to feel this way, so by God's grace, things slowly started changing. I wasn't producing any more angry thoughts, but I was still doing an excellent job at storing the ones already alive in me. At a worship gathering a few months back I came to a place where I was tired of being angry, tired of carrying these feelings around, and tired of letting all of this dictate my actions. So before God, and everyone in the congregation, I fell to my knees, then to my face in surrender.

Since then I've learned a whole new kind of anger...the kind that comes from hurt. You see, most of my anger never sprouted because I was hurt, but more because of my situations and surroundings. Sure, I've experienced hurt, but normally feelings of depression came from it.

Some big decisions are being made and have been decided upon among some really good friends. They're friends that I care very much for and have shared a lot of good memories and experiences with. And as strong as I try to act, the reality that I've felt hurt in dealing with these decisions have really made things difficult. Not because they have purposefully tried to hurt me, but because there have been inconsistencies in communication So here's what I'm learning now. In Thomas' world, when hurt is felt, anger is produced as a means of dealing with that hurt. Why? Well, that's a good question and unfortunately I do not have the answer at this time.

I believe that a requirement in being authentic is the ability to own up to shortcomings, struggles and to admit when you just don't know. So here we go...

"Hi, my name is Thomas."

'Hi, Thomas!'

"I'm using anger as a way to deal with my hurting"

With love,

---Thomas