the (single) life

I'm almost three whole months into my one year of "no dating, no pursuing" and I just realized that I have yet to write anything about this journey. Let me start off by saying, goodness gracious. This is, hands down, one of the more difficult things I've done in my 22 years on planet earth. However, in the same breath I want to say how much I've learned and grown from this three month experience already. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing where I'm sitting in another nine months. God's got it all under control.

About a month and a half ago I was enjoying some Chinese take out with two friends when I received this message in my fortune cookie: "romance will come your way soon." Now, I don't put a lot of stock into what my fortune cookie says, but it did seem of some importance to me, for whatever reason. So I kept it and put it into my wallet with all of my other random things I pick up. As worthless as that little piece of paper is, it has been right thus far. A new romance has come into my life; my Bridgegroom has appeared in a new way and am excited to be able to devout an entire year to solely Him.

Anyways, I came across this article in Relevant Magazine that I wanted to pass along to whom ever might need to read it. There's some good thoughts about the single and dating life as well as a good prayer that I, myself needs to start praying..."instead of praying that God will bring you the right person, pray that He makes you the right person."

Just like I told a good friend last night, I knew that as soon as I made this decision to partake in this one year journey, every attractive girl would come running from all corners of the globe. I'm ok with that. What good is learning if you never get to put it into practice and be tested on what you learned? So here we go. Three months down. Nine to go.

With love,
---Thomas

for now...I see in part

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." - 1 Corinthians 13:11-12

A main reason for me ever starting this blog was that I hoped that it would keep me accountable on some level with keeping with the theme: "...to be authentic". So here goes. I feel as if I'm stuck somewhere between these words of scripture. Somewhere between "When I was a child..." and "now I know in part..."

I feel very blessed to be able to confidently say that I know what God's calling over my life is, because I know plenty of people who willingly admit that they just don't know. But I'm very frustrated at the same time. I admit that I'm frustrated and I'm admitting that, to an extent, I feel a little lost. God has walked me down a path that has lead right into ministry with In August. From there, I've gone through a heart and eye transplant of sorts. I feel and see in ways I've never experienced; thus bringing about "the gathering". So it's like boom, boom, boom; God has been faithful in opening doors for me. I know it's all by His will because I don't deserve any of this and definitely can't do any of this on my own. But yet I still wrestle with some confusion.

"God, You've shown me my calling. You've given me a passion for my calling. Why can't I just step into that right now? Why can't things just happen like they've been happening? You know, boom, boom, boom?!"

On the way home from a friends house this evening, where we had some intense conversations about all kinds of things regarding our faiths, ours walks, our callings, and everything else around us, I just kept going back to the piece of scripture that said, "...now I know in part."

So this is where I'm at, at this very moment. I feel my childish reasoning has begun to fall away and a sense of growth has replaced it. And because of that growth, I feel I know more than just "in part". I feel I know the whole part, just as a teenager feels they know it all because of a little growth. But because I can't step into whatever stage comes after this current growth right this very second and begin operating in that season, I feel stuck.

For now..."I know in part". I don't know the intimate details of my calling yet because I'm not suppose to know. I'm still shedding my childish ways and am not ready....yet. And I desperately want to be at peace with that.

I saw a sign in front of a place of gathering earlier in the week that read, "change is inevitable...growth is optional." So God, I know change is coming, a new season is dawning. Open my eyes and heart that I may walk in the direction of Your growth.

With love,
---Thomas

Kingdom of God

Being apart of the ministry that is "the gathering" has been such an incredible experience, and we're only 1 gathering in! The things that God has opened my eyes to and the relationships I've been able to form has been such a blessing. A week ago, during our last snow storm in the valley, I met with two incredible guys who are both sold out for the cause that Christ has called them to. All of Harrisonburg is slowly shutting down on account of the snow, and here we are waltzing into Mcalister's like nothings going on. We sat. We ate. We spoke. We shared. We felt. We loved. And my heart smiled. For the first time in a very long time, I felt a peace filled with such a happiness. I can't even describe it. As we did all these things, I was happy. I, was truly happy. I had encountered the Kingdom of God.

"Christ tells us through scripture that the "kingdom" is not something we must wait on death for. Rather we can begin living in a new and better way now; a way of life that Jesus referred to as the “Kingdom of God.” A life of love as an interactive community, connected through Christ Jesus."

These were some of the words that were spoken to me by one of these men I was talking about.

This new found reality of the Kingdom of God has warped so many of my views on so many different topics. Views, that I've realized, aren't even my views. They're other people's views. My parents, family, friends, teachers, etc. I've just picked them up, thrown them on my back, and carried them as my own through life.

But during that time of fellowship, of community, I was happy. Because I was experiencing, enjoying, and operating in the Kingdom of God. I was loving. I was seeking. I was building the Kingdom of Heaven.

I want to invite you, on as much of a personal note as I can be through this blog, to the next gathering. Come gather, come seek, come love, as we seek out and experience community in it's purest form and learn more about this "Kingdom of God."

With love,
---Thomas